Dilemma.

I really want to hear from other people about their problems with anxiety and depression, but fuck me, I do not want to discuss it with my friends and family. I still have to discuss it with them, but it would be really nice to talk to someone with no preconceived notions of who or what I'm supposed to be. 

I love my Andrew to pieces, but he knows he doesn't really understand the level of anxiety that I feel on a regular basis. He's always sympathetic and kind, and I feel like that should be enough... but it isn't. Does that make me a bad person?

I do have one friend with very similar anxiety issues, and we chat about it occasionally. I get a lot out of those conversations. Because we aren't incredibly close -- friends, but not the best of -- I don't feel any judgment from her. She doesn't have any ideas of what I should be, the way that my family does or that I wonder if my boyfriend might.

I really do wonder how all of this is affecting Andrew. I know that he'll stand by me, but I don't want him to be limited by my mental disorders. He hates talking about Big Important Things, so asking will only make him uncomfortable and, indeed, even less likely to say anything meaningful.

God, I hope the stupid "takes two weeks to kick in" medication starts working soon. I can't even drive across town without a pit stop to calm my nerves. Hell, even the thought of the impending drive makes me feel horrible.

Any day now, meds. Aaaany day.